Araxes Haggis

Araxes Haggis

Recipe and Traditions

Traditionally served in late January (Imperium Calendar), but the first was held in late July, the date the Bagrationi clan continued to celebrate it.

Ingredients:

1 fat widow stomach

1 fat widow transestrification liver

1 fat widow intestines

1 fat widow heart

1 fat widow lung/airsac

1 fat widow brain and nerve chord

1 kilogram minced suet

1 kilogram fat widow ovaries

1 liter vinegar

12 medium onions, minced

2 pound dry oats, toasted

1 tablespoon kosher salt

1 tablespoon ground black pepper

1 tablespoon dried ground herbs

The suet is usually the fatty cuttings from inside the carapace, organ meat and connective tissue of the fat widows. Because of the transestrification process that is part of the Arthropoda Araxi, they have very little fat, but enough gathers up over time or if one finds larval or juvelile arthropoids.

Directions

1. Gently turn the fat widow on its back and carefully make a Y-shaped incision on the bottom of the thorax leading all the way down to the abdomen.

2. Pull back the exoskeleton liberated by the Y-shaped incision and drain the haemolymphatic fluids. Save the Haemolyph for the soup broth.

3. Carefully inspect the interior to ensure that the Molotov Gland, Poison Sac , Acid Reservoir and Tesla Gland have not been pierced or lacerated causing leakage which would spoil the meat and other organs.

4. Carefully remove the Molotov Gland, Poison Sac , Acid Reservoir and Tesla Gland and set them aside.

5. Carefully remove the Silk Gland and place that in a separate container. It is inedible but valuable.

6. Remove the ovaries and take out any fertilized eggs. The fertilized eggs are typically not killed by boiling and infesting guests leads to hurt feelings and unpleasant medical processes.

7. Remove the lungs/airsac, stomach, transestrification liver, intestines and heart and place in separate containers.

8. Remove the brain and nerve tissue and place in a separate container.

9. Carve off the fat from the internal organs, connective tissues and scrape off the fat and gelatine from the inside of the carapace. Some people like to keep the gelatine separate as it makes for fine desserts, if so, remove the eyes and store with the gelatine.

10. Place the brain and nerve tissue in a bowl of vinegar and let soak overnight.

11. Place the ovaries in a bowl of salted water and let soak overnight.

12. Rinse the fat widow stomach thoroughly and soak overnight in cold salted water.

13. Rinse the intestines and heart. In a large pot of boiling, salted water, cook these parts over medium heat for 2 hours. Remove and mince. Remove any gristle or skin and discard.

14. In a large bowl, combine the minced intestines, liver, lungs, heart, brains, ovaries, suet, onions, and toasted oats. Season with salt, pepper, and dried herbs. Moisten with some of the cooking water so the mixture binds. Remove the stomach from the cold salted water and fill 2/3 with the mixture. Sew or tie the stomach closed. Use a turning fork to pierce the stomach several times. This will prevent the haggis from bursting.

15. In a large pot of boiling water, gently place the filled stomach, being careful not to splash. Cook over high heat for 3 hours.

Note 1: Some people prefer to keep the ovaries and brains separate and served raw as a condiment instead of including it inside of the haggis.

Note 2: Pickled Haggis stays fresh for up to 5 years, some say that 5 years with the right seasoning that it tastes even better.

Haggis is traditionally served with potatoes and turnips. A soup course precedes supper, usually a barley based soup with braised fine steak spider cuts, carrots, swedes and turnup, some dried pulses like split peas or red lentils, cabbage and leeks. There is often a dessert course, a cheese courses, and of course there is coffee. For very formal banquets, dessert, cheese and coffee all preceded the soup course. For family events, dessert, cheese and coffee follows the main course.

The first toast of the evening is usually with snake whiskey (but occasionally Araxi Spice Tequila or Spice Mescale) and the first toast is usually proferred towards the haggis itself.

Dinner is usually announced by the player of the Tibia Utricularis, ideally made from the air bladder of one the arthropoids served from dinner. The festive droning and reed chant sounds reminds us what’s for dinner.

After everyone has been well met, the Host says a few words, and then the recognition of grace and thanks:

Some have meat an canna eat;

And some can eat, that want it;

But we have meat, and we can eat;

And say let the good Lords be thanked.

We all stand for the haggis to be brought in by the cook on a large dish, generally while a piper plays the Tibia Utricularis and leads the way to the host's table, where the haggis is laid down.

The Host then recites the traditional address to a haggis, while sharpening his blade.

Upon completion of the Address to a Haggis, the Host then plunges his blade into the haggis and cuts it open from end to end. Applause and cheering is permitted

The Haggis Cut is usually accompanies by a toast with snake whiskey (but occasionally Araxi Spice Tequila or Spice Mescale) proposed to the haggis, then the company will sit down to the meal. Traditionally poetry is recited. Boasting of great deeds and promises of great deed are usually only allowed if in the form of metered verse.

Herewith the Address to a Haggis in the original Imperial form:

fer fo̜ jur onəst sonse fes

gret ʧiftən o ðə pudɪn res

əbun ðəm o̜ ji tak jər ples

penʃ trəip or θerəm

wil ar ji worde o ə gres

əz laŋz məi erəm

 

ðə gronɪn trɛnʃər ðer ji fɪl

jur hʌrdez ləik ə distənt hɪl

jur pɪn wad hɛlp tu mɛn ə mɪl

ɪn təim o nid

ʍəil θro jur porz ðə djuz dɪstɪl

ləik ambər bid

 

hɪz nəif si rʌstɪk lebər dɪxt

ən kʌt ju ʌp wɪ rɛde slɪxt

trɛnʃɪn jur gʌʃɪn ɛntrelz brɪxt

ləik one dɪʧ

ən ðɛn o ʍat a gloreəs sɪxt

warəm-rikɪn rɪʧ

 

ðɛn, horn fər horn ðe strɛʧ ən strəiv

dil tak ðə həinmest on ðe drəiv

tɪl o̜ ðer wil-swaləd kəits bələiv

ar bɛnt ləik drʌmz;

ðɛn o̜l gɪdman mest ləik tu rəiv

bəθankɪt hʌmz

 

ɪz ðɛr ðat ʌuər hɪz frɛnʃ rəgu

or oleo ðat wad sto̜ ə su

or frɪkase wad mak hər spju

wɪ pɛrfək skʌnər

luks dʌun wɪ snirɪn skornfu vju

on sɪk a dɪnər

 

pur dɛvɪl si hɪm ʌuər hɪs traʃ

az fɛkləs az ə wɪðərd raʃ

hɪz spɪnəl ʃaŋk ə gɪd ʍɪp-laʃ

hɪz niv a nɪt

θro blʌde flʌd or fil tu daʃ

o hʌu ʌnfɪt

 

bʌt mark ðə rʌstɪk hagɪs fɛd

ðə trɛmblɪn ɛrθ rəzʌunz hɪz trɛd

klap ɪn hɪz wale niv ə blɛd

hil mek ɪt ʍɪsəl

ən legs ən arəmz, ən hidz wɪl snɛd

ləik taps o θrɪsəl

 

ji pʌuərz, ʍa mak mankəin jur ker

ən dɪʃ ðəm ʌut ðer bɪl o fer

o̜l skotlan wants ne skinkin wer

ðat ʤo̜ps ɪn lʌgez

bʌt ɪf ji wɪʃ hər gretfu prer

gi hər ə hagɪs